I have eczema. I’ve had it for as long as I’ve known, since being diagnosed as a very young child. I don’t really know a life without it. A silent condition that can lay dormant for weeks, or even months if you’re lucky, but when it flares up it absolutely consumes you.
That’s what I’m experiencing now – a flare-up and I’m right in the heart of it. I felt it coming a couple of weeks ago. Everything felt like it was starting to pile up in life, I rarely felt relaxed. Then, the itch came; just a small one at first on my right forearm. I indulged in a little scratching session, which then gained momentum as the days continued. It has now given birth to a full flare-up, spreading up my arms, down the tops of my shoulders, creeping across my abdomen, buttocks and hips.
I’ve had to give in to the steroid ointment, although only using it on the nights I’ve scratched for more than 10 minutes at a time. Tonight, was one of those nights – managing to rake up a 30 minute scratch fest. I sound like I’m proud of myself, but I’m not. I’m just delaying the inevitable shame that will soon set in.
Luckily, with working from home in the pandemic Lockdown, plus it being cold enough to still get away with wearing long, thick jumpers, I don’t have to also endure the shame of anyone staring at my skin trying to mask their horror.
Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully, one that does not involve more scratching. A chance to reset the timer, or a chance to feed the beast.
SAA Tulloch Writes 
As a fellow eczema sufferer, your post above really resonates with me. Having eczema is like that annoying person you try to get rid of but somehow they always find their way back to you and cause havoc in the process. The friend being the eczema and the ‘havoc’ resembling the shame and guilt felt when my skin is red, raw and sore. For me taking the time to understand possible reasons into the flare up helps. Sometimes half the battle is won when I address some of those underlying issues. Thank you for sharing your truth and encouraging me to share mine.
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